A year ago this morning, I sat in a quiet hotel room. It was 7am, your papa was in the shower and I was waiting for room service to arrive. It was raining outside and I remember thinking how people tell brides that rain on your wedding day is good luck. Was it good luck or was it something you just say to keep a bride calm? I didn’t know for sure but I was going with the luck thing. I was determined to look on the bright side that day. Rain or shine.
I turned on the news but that didn’t seem right. I mindlessly scrolled through instagram but that didn’t seem right either. Maybe crawling into the plush hotel robe would comfort me? That day, of all days, I needed to be as zen as possible and I was searching for any kind of distraction.
The only thing I could think to do was to close my eyes and take a deep breath. There it was…you. I pictured you. I didn’t know if you would be a boy or a girl but somehow, I could see you. I could clearly see all the love I had been storing up for you. I could practically feel the millions of kisses I’d give you. I could almost touch the little body I’d hold. And your giggles and soft coos were echoing in the distance. I wanted today to be different than all the other mornings your papa and I had in the past like this. I tried my best not to think about it too much but I was only kidding myself.
Before I knew it, we were in Dr. Potter’s office – nervous, hopeful, excited, nearly fainting…A year ago, March 7, 2016, you were placed into my uterus and by God’s grace, you were home. You were ours. You were the one that hung on. You were the one meant for us. It brings tears to my eyes just knowing that it was you all along. All my hopes and dreams and prayers were for you, my Landin Lucca.
And here you are today, a whole 365 days later, in the flesh. The girl with the wide eyes and sweet disposition. My little observer with the chunky thighs who just goes with the flow. My little sidekick and forever bestie. You’re an angel and the brightest light. Watching you learn new things daily absolutely takes my breath away. And don’t even get me started with that dang dimple!
It’s amazing to me how quickly I have forgotten the years it took papa and I to get to you. I guess now that I get to hold you in my arms, it’s clear to me that it was always you. It was all worth it for you. So today, my sweet babe, I want to say thank you. For making me a mama, yes, but for coming along when you did. I feel so incredibly blessed to get to raise you. To be here for you and get to be the one on the other end of your smiles. To protect you and nurture you and teach you. I can’t promise that I’ll always know what the heck I’m doing, but I can promise that you will always feel loved and wanted. What a gift you are to me. I hope you always know that.
Happy coming home day lovie, because a year ago today, you officially became a part of me.